Just went to a Stag & Doe recently, first one in a long while. Who knew it was a SWO thing? Off to download Firefox ...

If I'd been more on the ball, Shea and I would've gone to one while we were in London - just for the cultural experience! (We did get to a SW Ontario funeral - very similar to a Saskatchewan funeral I can report.)

I don't know if it's so much a rural thing, but def SW ontario altogether.
Even growing up there I was confused because I thought a stag was a bachelor party and when I first heard of a stag and doe I was confused too.
oh, and IMO, I think they're tacky.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was confused by what happened at them. To me, a stag is when the men go to strippers (usually), the women go to the bar (usually) and if it's a joint stagette, it could be anything - bar night, race cars, arcade, fancy restaurant meal, paintball - you name it.

Oddly I first heard about these types of parties from a Manitoba friend when I was at Bishop's (south of Montreal - definitely not Stag & Doe country) - I thought he was joking!

Having now lived in the heartland of Stag & Doe country for several years and met lots of seemingly sane and lovely SW Ontario folks I am used to hearing about this bizarre (at least to us outsiders) pre-wedding fund-raising ritual - although I've yet to actually attend one!

P.S. No, Chris and I did not have a Stag & Doe.

That's funny that it was a Manitoban who told you about a (mostly) Ontario tradition while you were in Quebec. There's something distinctly Canadian about that!

Definitely a rural Ontario thing...where I grew up they are know as "buck and does". I've also heard them called "jack and jills". And yes, they seem tacky but are also wildly fun when you are 19 and living in the country. I attended many where I didn't even know the bride and groom, but it was an excuse to see all of your friends in one place. $8 for dancing, access to a bar and a midnight lunch. Still one of the best entertainment deals I've had!
Susan S.

Your reference to the cost of the event makes me wonder - is there a typical price for drinks at a small town wedding in Ontario? Here, a loonie bar is typical, a toonie bar is considered a rip-off and a free bar is considered manna from Heaven. (I also heard that the Sask Liquor Commission outlawed open bars at weddings but I'm not sure if that's true or not.) Shea and I split the difference and charged $1.50 but we also went a bit above the typical Molson Canadian, Pilsner, and Coors Light plus hard stuff that make up the typical options at a small town wedding's bar - offering Corona, coolers and tequila shots.

Huh. The first 'stag and doe' I went to was here in Saskatchewan, about fifteen years ago. It was called a 'stag and doe' and there was a passing of the hat to set the couple up. And 'setting' gifts; which meant, apparently, gifts that one gives a new couple to get them ready for their wedding (such as gift certificates for the florist or seamstress)...

I'd heard of the event before, from a few places, but hadn't been to one before.

i know there *were* 'stag and doe' parties in the town I grew up in, though.

Were the bride and/or groom from SW Ontario by any chance? ;)

It does bring up another interesting question - in our inter-connected world, why *hasn't* this idea migrated more widely? Why do some ideas go viral and some ideas stay local?

I'm trying to think of something that only happens in Saskatchewan that would fit this bill - bush parties? Doubt it. Grain terminal climbing? Probably but I suspect that's not as widespread, even within our province, as my teenaged self would like to believe.

Buck n' Doe's are the best... Kurtis and I had a one. They are also quite popular in Eastern Ontario but they're just called "Stags". I don't think they're tacky at all - just a great excuse for a party.
Jason, perhaps you should write about another popular rural tradition - the chivari (sp?). Where you pull all sort of wicked pranks on the newly weds.

One thing that's common in Saskatchewan is the "passing of the boot" at the wedding reception where someone's boot (usually cowboy boot and I think it's supposed to be the groom's but may be mistaken) is passed around and guests stuff money into it to help the couple pay for their honeymoon or whatever else.

Shea and I did a variation to fit our Mexican theme - our best man/maid of honour/MC passed a sombrero and offered tequila shots for a donation. That way, people didn't feel obligated to throw in like with the passing of the boot and if they did, they got something in return. (We'd brought back 200 shot glasses from Mexico as take home gifts so this also made sense that way too.)